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Cult of Car-Ob

After having completed the quest to the House of Menander, the Elf Bard began seeing visions of things and suggested to the party that they return to the evil temple under the city that they had found through the rat tunnels and the crypts of the de la Peur family.


The party, comprised of Bard, Don "Dwarfo", Artemis Ridcully, Hamfast "Hammy" Gordlington, and Minz, the newcomer dwarf that befriended Blake and Larry on a trip to a ruins in the South, entered into the windy rat tunnels and emerged into the temple complex. Upon entering the main temple area, Bard went berserk, attacking the statue of the giant eye with much fervor and recklessness. Cutting chunks of statue away, his newly found sword-blade began to peel and the shiny coating began to chip away, revealing a rune-covered black blade underneath.


The racket drew the attention of the evil priest who emerged from behind the curtain and re-animated the skeletons the party had destroyed in their previous entre into the temple. After a hard-fought battle, the skeletons and priest were defeated. When Minz began removing the priests platemail for his own use, the party recognized the priest as the man who escaped in their battle with the snake Cult of Car-Ob. Interestingly, he bore the arms and symbols of the frog-man statue, rather than the snakes worshipped by the cult.


Bard seemed to have an uncanny ability to detect things, including secret doors and the party discovered a secret chamber behind the curtain that they had previously missed. Inside the chamber, they found many unholy religous trappings. Searching further, they found the priests chambers and in it, a book, a potion (which Bard drank and was henceforth rather minute, standing a mere 6" tall) and a collection of gold.


Eventually, they also found stairs which led down and a passage to an abandoned house in the shanty-town outside the city walls.


Exploring the hallway outside the temple, they found a large, burned-out area, but also the rotting remains of a bathhouse. In the bathhouse, they fought a strange tentacled beast and recovered a quiver of 10 magic arrows which Bard had discerned lie beneath the water's murky surface. Escaping the tentacled beast, they returned to the city - through the rat tunnels to avoid the hefty tariffs they would surely be forced to pay at the city gate.

Snurdle Snurdle Snurdle

Our band of intrepid adventurers, having lived it up for a week on the town, were meeting up back in the common room of the Silver Eel, within the Dark City District. Having relayed their wild tales to each other, someone mentions that he overheard that a particular city guard by the name of Kal Borzio was a particularly corrupt fellow. The newest member of the group - and old "friend" of Artemis, Snyrdle Syrdleson*, an odd and particularly cruel and cowardly man suggested that everyone get together and rob Kal's house while he's on duty. The party, in a bit of a criminal mood (Hammy having just been released from prison) agreed.

The party set out to gather intelligence on the guardsman - first seeking out some off duty guard at the tavern. Artemis buddied up to a drunk guardsman named Eulor, extracting information from him about Kal with regular and magical means. Kal, it seemed, was a particularly corrupt and vile guardsman - even judged against the low standards set by the main of the city guard who generally accept bribes and look the other way when their "friends" are pursuing their "business". Additionally, Eulor relayed that Kal often hung out at the Green Dragon Inn - a favorite haunt of the guard when off duty.

The party headed over to the Green Dragon Inn and easily spotted Borzio and his compatriots. After watching during a long night of drinking, they followed him home. Along the way, a group of shady characters approached him and Blake (or was it Larry?) overheard that they were expressing concern that Borzio may not be able to hold up his end of the bargain. Eventually, he appeased their concerns and headed home and fell asleep in a drunken stupor.

Staking out his house, the sneaky Blake (or was it Larry?) crept in through the window and inspected his home. Finding the keys on the bedside table, he opened the footlocker, removing a large bag of coins and some paperwork. In the meantime, Snyrdle set up a rope across the front door for Borzio to trip on upon awakening. Upon returning to the inn, the party found the bag full of silver and the paperwork to include references to many shady characters and links between them.

The next day, the party split in two. Half followed Borzio around and the other half went to talk to Eulor, who cautioned them against getting involved with Borzio and his shady dealings. Eventually, Borzio and his guardsman crew headed to a mansion in the weathly district of the city. The party lied in wait while it appeared that Borzio and his men were doing private guard duty at the house.

After some time, Borzio headed out of the house and headed into the stables. The shady characters the party had seen before headed out of the stables, through the gate and (with ropes) up and over the wall of the next property. In the meantime Blake (or was it Larry?) headed into the stables and found a trap door in the floor which led to some tunnels below.

Eventually the robbers returned, their bags full of loot. The party couldn't decide what to do. Should they kill the thieves and take their stuff? Kill Borzio? Shout out the alarm for the city guard? Turn Borzio in? Their indecision left a sizeable gap between themselves and the thieves who by now were down in the tunnels below. They waited for Borzio to return to the stables, knocked him out then once again couldn't decide what to do. Eventually, they tied him up and headed into the tunnels themselves.

Finding themselves in the sewers, they eventually were able to track down the band of thieves, whom they engaged in combat. After many arrows were fired, they recovered the stolen loot and looked for an exit from the sewers. The emerged into the moonlight near the city market and headed back to the inn.



* Note: I can't remember Snyrdle's real last name, but Snyrdleson goes so well that that's what I'm calling him for now. Here's what Snyrdle looks like:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f0/PeterLorre.jpg

Tales to Astonish!

The expedition ... continues

Behold, my friends! Come hear the tale of adventures from the years, the days, of yesterday -- adventurers whose bravery did not depend on things like feats, or race/class distinction, or even double-digit hit points.

These brave and hardy adventurers continued their adventure on the dangerous side of the River Shrill. Two elves (Illuminar, also known as Balthazar, and Gildor Von Dandelioneater), two men (Benedict the Pious and Emirol the Pathetic), and a dwarf (Balin the Illiterate) were joined by Galeena the Graceful, a sagacious, if self-described ditzy cleric. (Though no one knows where she came from or how she got there.)

Left to right: Galeena, Balin, Benedict, Emirol, Gildor, Illuminar - plotting an intelligent, cogent strategy

They searched through an abandoned town, finding naught but rot, rats, and a residue of a once great civilization. (They also found statues marked with circled-stars and secret doors.) Balin the Illiterate, who seemed to assume a more devil-may-care attitude toward life, took to chopping doors down rather than opening them. In his haste, he split off from a party. "Balin, I shall not leave you alone, unaided," Benedict said. They were set upon by a nest of rats, who defeated and devoured them.

Emirol, Galeena, and Benedit - true heroes

Meanwhile, the rest of the party was exploring the rooftop of another building, and continued exploring the ruins. Upon finding a bubbling fountain-stream, Gildor - his elf-kinship to the nature world roused - rushed to slake his thirst. But bepoisoned he was! and lost a hit point -- permanently.

Benedict, Illuminar, Emirol - three great sages of days long gone

"Where are the other two?" asked Illimunar, adding, "I'm sure they're alright." They circled around until they discovered Balin's and Benedict's corpses. Overruling Gildor's idea to use the bodies as decoys against some later foe, Galeena had them buried and performed a funerial ceremony: "May your spirits soar, amen," she said. The threnody of our morning stretched to the farthest corner of the generic world in which we live.

To mourn his fallen friends, Illuminar paints his sword - TruthSeeker - blackest black

We searched through piles of garbage, finding some baubles and treasure amid the ruination. We found an ivory tube containing a scroll of three cleric spells, a mighty find.

"We'll find those devils..."

Then we heard through a door mighty arguing. We investigated, casting open the door -- two OGRES! Alas, alack, fear, fire, foes!!! We engaged them and, despite their numerous hit points, defeated them. (In 1st edition, monsters didn't get strength bonuses to damage.) We looted their lair, finding much gold. An imaginary mounted paladin came by and made reference to his many feats. "Are you from the future?" asked Illuminar...

"Take that, foul villain!"

Behold... the Ocarina of Time!

"The Bepoisoned Orphans!"

When the crew of The British Tar visited Sister Mary Albright's orphanage, they encountered a sorry sight: dozens of bepoisoned orphans. Who could cause such menace?

Before they had a chance to do anything but roll for initiative, they were attacked -- by ninjas most foul! Ninja upon ninja attacked our group of shipping merchants/light pirates, confusing them with their ninjacrobatic attacks, smoke bombs, and shrieks of "Banzai!"

The ninjas attack!!!

Confounding the problem was when bepoisoned orphans ran into the combat, but Ras T. Farr discovered they could be easily jumped over. The ninjas, led by a level 4 "Boss Ninja" named Daimyo, were eventually vanquished, but not before one delivered a near-killing blow to Sid Vicious ("Yarr! I hurt meself worse shavin' every mornin'!").

Sid Vicious, "Oi! Oi!"

The group discovered a note on Daimyo that revealed the source behind the orphan poisonage: the environmentally unsound training practices of Sid's arch-enemy, the Double-handed Mongolian, had contaminated the orphans' well. Treachery MOST foul!!!!

Ras T. Farr, ending sentences with "mon" since 1756

After Ras T. Farr bought a parrot, the buccaneers raced to the port to depart for Barbados, to deliver coffee beans to the merchant prince Chartreusebeard, and encountered along the way the Most Sir High Lord Peter James Bond, Ras T. Farr's childhood bully, who mocked the crew for the meagerness of their ship. Count Morgan insulted him back, and caught the eye of Mabel, his cousin, who gave him her monogrammed 'kerchief.

Count Morgan, in search of his family's Ocarina of Time

After a few meaningless rolls on a non-existent random encounter table, the ship arrived in Barbados. The party sold Chartreusebeard the coffee and learned from him that Black Velma, the sea witch, was living nearby on Prickly Pear Island. C-beard gave them a compass to find her and a bejeweled conch-shell. He also gave them the warning that she was held captive by some fiend they must slay!

Scallywag, a realistic role-model for all the girls out there

Ignoring the rumor they'd heard that the Sea Witch had a new boyfriend, the party landed on her island, snuck up to her cave, and shot an unsuspecting centipede creature in the back. Then a mighty battle ensued with the centipede's brothers and father, an enormous monster with a Tougness save of +11 named George Cauldron. After slaughtering the monsters, they learned that they were - in fact - the Sea Witch's husband and children, and that C-beard was a jealous ex-boyfriend. However, the gift of the bejeweled conch shell helped the Sea Witch forgive and forget, and she gave them an indigo-based recipe to cure the orphans.

Black Velma, the Sea Witch, and George Cauldron

Escape to the Milf Woods

Where we left off...

Most of your characters made it out of the prison alive, but
Blacktooth the Kobold and Gorbag the Cutthroat were left behind.

Most of you will quickly learn that Gorbag was chewed apart by dogs.
Meanwhile Bynum, one of your party's Clerics, stayed behind to try and
help the undserving Gorbag, and so was severly injured in the escape,
though he is in fact above ground with the group now.

Meanwhile the surviving party members (who are together now) have
decided to make a mad dash for some rocks in the distance, to hide and
to try and get some shade. All of you feel the blistering sun
scorching your skin as you jog across the lunar plain. It is a one
mile run to make it to the rocks, and it is as if you are running
across Death Valley. Your companions are faring poorly. All characters
will suffer 1 hp of damage for each half-mile run in the daylight.

One, and only one, character will notice that Guy's Cleric (Bynum) has
dropped unconcious from sun stroke, and he will not make it to the
rocks unassisted. Helping Bynum will undoubtly mean more damage
sustained from the sun for the assisting character. The character who
notices Bynum is "Sticky Vicky". What does she do?