9/13/2007 The Long Trail Home…

Clearly vile conspiracies are at work. Dark forces gathering…the town is threatened…we have learned that the militia has been waylaid in order to render the town defenseless. BY applying advanced interrogation techniques to the sole surviving brigand, we learned that El Guapo and his brother El Gordo were planning to completely lay waste to the town in the coming days. We had to speed back to town as quickly as possible to warn the town, set up their defenses and assist in the battle. Knowing that El Guapo’s spy Ned, was clearly passing along all information he could glean of our whereabouts, we decided it best to split our band so that at least one group would make it back to town should there be an ambush enroute. The fastest group—Tooblecane, Don Pacheco (riding the shape changed Hrolf)—headed directly for the valley floor; counting on speed to out run any foes. Meanwhile, Hugo, Chloroxina and Fingar opted for a stealthier approach of working along the ridge line—hoping to avoid any conflicts by staying to the more difficult higher ground.

Carefully we picked our way along the rocky path….Haawken circling above and head of us to warn of potential threats. Suddenly he spotted something…signaling a threat that even he was worried about despite his position high overhead…soon we became aware of a buzzing noise…vague at first…then louder….finally deafening…and then they were upon us! Moving lightening fast, a group of giant wasps came flying around the rocks and attacked! Hugo, sun glistening off those massive muscles, swung his mighty great sword and blasted one for 32 points…Vat? It’s not dead yet? Vat kind of vasps are dez? Stinggggggg…Hugo took damage and had to fight off the effects of the poison. Chloroxina, annoyed by all the dust their wings were raising, unleashed a bolt from her crossbow and dropped the injured wasp. We all collaborated to bring down the second…scorching ray…sword…bolts… arrows…but not before it had hit Hugo again…still our mighty warrior fought off the poison. But he was not to be so fortunate with the third wasp…though we killed that one too, Hugo suffered strength damage as the painful poison flowed through his veins. We moved further down the path…again hearing that annoying buzzing sound grow louder and louder…sneaking up, we spied the wasps’ hive…a massive earthen mound with more than 20 of the killers flying around. Hugo and Fingar were hot to attack…let’s blast em…there might be treasure…leave no monster living in our path… Chloroxina, pleaded for sanity…let’s just avoid them…go around. Hugo…awed by her wisdom, noted “Ach du leiber, du ist the voice uf reason for ous parte”… [disembodied voice….oh no, you guys are screwed….]. Skirting the threat, we treated Hugo’s wounds…apparently even going so far as to suck poison out of his wounds…[well, maybe Chloroxina did that, but Fingar swears he ain’t having none of that].

And so we ventured on…the air still and heavy…the sun beating down on us like a furnace…unknown threats for ever in our path…but of course (much to the dismay of the DM)…the ever vigilant Haawken swirled overhead and warned us of approaching danger…this time in the form of four swiftly moving figures that appeared to be tracking us. Hugo and Chloroxina quickly hid behind some rocky outcroppings while Fingar climbed a rock spire and went invisible. He watched in amusement as four hobgoblin monks moved stealthily along the path… hmmm… just how should we mess with them…how about…a celestial dog…let’s see what you do with that. Poof! The yappy Lassie appeared directly in the midst of the four monks…kawhammmm… kawhammmm… kawhammmm… kawhammmm… oops…no more doggie. “Our kung foo is great…mages are weak…come out and fight…feel the power of our scintillating snake attacks…Our Snake Temple to the west is almost complete…and then you all will be subject to our power. The Order of the Lruse Bee is all powerful!” Fingar, amused at their bombastic behavior...and just a little pissed off that they plastered his poor dog…levitated high overhead and blasted the group with a super sulfur fireball….Kung foo this you Carridine wanna-bes! Despite their awesome reflexes, one monk was completely fired and the remaining three were barely standing. “Arrrghh…mages don’t fight fair…we will get you later” they called as the turned and ran away. Unfortunately, even a hobgoblin monk can’t out run a magic missile…and another one bit the dust.

As the sun set, we found a small rock outcropping were it seemed we ought to be able to camp peacefully for the night…barely had we settled down, when two huge dark shapes began moving towards us in the dark. Fingar, standing guard, went for max fire power and blasted one of what ever they were with a lightening blot. In the flash of light, we were able to make out two owl bears moving to attack us. Hugo and Chloroxina groggily roused from their slumber…smelling the electricity in the air, Chloroxina wondered “Are you making silver dollar pancakes?”…”What…pancakes…no…we’re under attack…quick do something”. Chloroxina quickly threw the owl bear attack into confusing by casting obscuring mist over us…causing them to hesitate as we prepared our defense. Hugo…not having time to don his armor [do you realize how long it takes to put on breast plate…omg!]…prepared to go into combat mano e mano when he was shocked to feel Fingar cast mage armor on him. The massive Hugo was taken aback…“Vat? Du ist givink me ur mage armor…dis selflessness is so touchink…” Fingar laughed…“What? Selflessness? Get ur ass between me and those owl bears and do it fast!” Magically armored up with shield of faith….Hugo and Chloroxina attacked….Hugo cleaving through one (body parts everywhere) and into the other. Chloroxina weighed in with her heavy mace, plastering the injured beast and beating its carcass into the ground.

Tired we once again tried to settle down for some sleep….but the evil DM would not let it be so. A swarm of bore bugs descended upon us…biting… boring… with no way to drive them off [look…I’m an evoker…not an enchanter…I don’t have Sleep…get over it!]…we grabbed our stuff and ran…unfortunately we all still had bore bugs deep under our skin…[god only knows what those are going to do…Fingar is bumming heavily; Hugo is worried about the effect on his muscles; Chloroxina just laughs]. Finally, we were able to get some sleep and by late morning were ready to press on. Of course, it was not going to be that easy to cover the few remaining miles to the outpost on the valley floor. As we moved along the narrow path down the mountain we were ambushed by a lone troll…leaping out from hiding right in the midst of our group. Fingar, startled, lashed out with a shocking grasp. Hugo, more startled, whirled and swung…CRITICAL…CRITICAL again…the points tallied…[we called for an abacus]…59 points!!!!! A new record!!!!! The troll cut in two…uh oh…we all looked at the parts…already starting to move and reform…Fingar quickly cast a flaming sphere and rolled it all over the troll parts until he was dead…dead…dead [meanwhile, the DM erased Sir Ector’s old record and scribed Hugo’s name in its place…]. And finally, we were out of the pass and onto the valley floor. In the distance we spied the militia outpost…we made it…we hurried to the outpost confident that we would get help there and be able to send messengers to warn the town. But it was not to be. Johnny James had been there first on his way to attack us at the Temple of Unga Unga. The entire force at the outpost had been slaughtered….though fortunately not all of their horses. Fingar…still spazzing out over the bore bugs…scored the post for anything that might rid him of the pests—of course to no avail. Realizing we had little time to warn the town, we mounted up and rode off…hoping against hope that we would link up with the rest of our band en route to town.